Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Wild Speculation and Outlandish Guesses: Purchase or Pass...On Legislation

The biggest news of the last week was the NBA coming out with fines for flopping, as well as a hilarious video demonstrating what is and is not a flop. This isn't the first time that the NBA has waded into legislating gray areas of basketball: witness the imposition of a dress code a few years back. So, in another addition of everybody's favorite game, Purchase or Pass...On, we talk about rules!

Purchase or Pass...On the NBA fining players for whining and complaining about calls.

Jacob Greenberg: Purchase. I don't mind arguing a call, but the excessive body language, with hands thrown in the air, and feet stamping on the ground, gets really tiresome. Losing some bank after you demonstratively whine all night might change some obnoxious behaviors. Looking at you, Blake.

Joe Bernardo: Purchase. As much as I love the antics of Vlade Divac for comedic purposes, enforcing flopping will get certain players to finally play some hard-nosed D.

Franklin Mieuli: Purchase a very specific definition of whining and complaining. I don't mind the Tim Duncan stare, but I do mind when a player gets up in a referee's face and basically physically intimidates him into changing his call or, more likely, influencing future calls.

Purchase or Pass...On the NBA fining players for Having too much fun (a la NFL excessive celebration penalties)

Jacob Greenberg: In general, pass...on. I'm generally for happiness. Though the 2009-2010 Cavs were pretty obnoxious, and could've been told to settle down a bit.

Joe Bernardo: Pass on. Please no NFL anti-celebration legislation in the NBA. I love the dancing, the yelling, and the poses. Can you imagine the NBA without the NY Knick chest bump, the Reggie Miller Michael Jackson impersonation, or the Antoine Walker shimmy? Let the players have fun.

Franklin Mieuli: Pass on. I want more excessive celebration! I wanna see dudes chest bumping after hitting free throws, throwing their jersey over their head and doing cartwheels after they hit a three. More, more more.

Purchase or Pass...On the NBA fining players for Showboating (bouncing the ball off other players, hanging on the rim etc.)

Jacob Greenberg: Pass on...with reservations! This is already adequately legislated, but not uniformly officiated, however. In my opinion, is where "star treatment" is most noticeable. D-Wade hangs on the rim all the time, and sees no techs or violations for it. If the league offered warnings or small fines, it might encourage better behavior.

Joe Bernardo: Purchase, but only if it involves penalizing for some sort of taunting. Showboating is one thing, but taunting can lead to unnecessary brawling.

Franklin Mieuli: Pass on. Just like excessive celebration, I want more showboating. Some of my favorite players are the ones that showboat. I especially love the bench warmer that starts doing it as they get onto the court. That's what makes the NBA fun: that we sit so close to the players, they don't have a helmet on, and we can see their personality.

Purchase or Pass...On the NBA fining players for using obscene language towards each other and referees during the game

Jacob Greenberg: Pass on any further regulation. This is already legislated by the league. Players and coaches get fined for postgame tirades, and/or not leaving the court in a timely manner.

Joe Bernardo: Pass on. The game is full of emotions and there are always time when players need to say Fuck, Ass, Bitch, Balls, Jiminy Cricket, etc. As Jacob already mentioned, the league already enforces it. No need for further legislation.

Franklin Mieuli: Pass on I guess. Not having risen above 3rd grade YMCA league (unless pickup at the community center is higher than that), I just don't have enough experience to know whether it is detrimental to the game at all.

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