Wild Speculation and Outlandish Guesses: Let's Play Some Damn Basketball Edition.

Jeremy Lin reentered the news this week when he asked to sleep on new teammate Chandler Parson's couch. That's the only excuse we need to talk about him! How will he fare in Houston?

John Reyes Nguyen: Jeremy Lin is better off in Houston than in New York. As a Knick, the fans will want Linsanity all the time and that's just not going to happen. He's a good point guard but he's not a player who can turn around a franchise, which is what the Knicks need. I think he will be fine in Houston, probably averaging 13pts, 8ast, 3turnovers per game. Unfortunately, Houston's gonna be really terrible for a while so that will hurt his stock too.

Jacob Greenberg: I think he'll put up nice numbers (around 20 and 8?), but Houston will be nowhere near the playoffs. He also stands a decent shot of getting voted into the All-Star Game as a starter by the fans.

Andrew Snyder: Hopefully, Lin will average 20-7-12, carry the Rockets to the #1 record in the Western conference, and proceeds to break internet basketball culture as we know it.

Franklin Mieuli: Depending upon how you feel about Kevin Martin and Omer Asik, Jeremy Lin might just be the Rockets best player. His usage rate will be very high, meaning he will get a bunch of assists, but also a bunch of turnovers. He rose to prominence while Melo was out and his usage rate was off the charts. Therefore, I think that while Lin's advanced stats will show him to be having a decent year, he's going to average something like 20 points, 5 rebounds, 7 assists and 5 turnovers a game.

You're Lin Trouble: Ben & Jerry's

Beanie Babies, Pogs, The Spice Girls, Tickle Me Elmo, Pokemon. Like every phenomenon to hit pop culture in the age of the internet, everyone's trying to cash in on Jeremy Lin, and Jason Whitlock's not the only one getting Lin trouble.

Today, ESPN scooped a sweet story on ice cream maker Ben & Jerry's and a questionable ingredient choice for their newest flavor of frozen yogurt, "Taste the Lin-Sanity." Trying to one up the New York Knicks team graphic staff, the 'tangentially-but-not-really-connected-to-Harvard' company put fortune cookie pieces into vanilla fro-yo with a honey swirl -- a unfortuneate attempt to cash in on #Linsanity that has now backfired.

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice...

The company has offered this apology:

"Our [l]intention was to create a flavor to honor Jeremy Lin's accomplishments and his meteoric rise in the NBA, and recognize that he was a local Harvard graduate... We try (to) demonstrate our commitment as a Boston-based, valued-led business and if we failed in this instance we offer our sincere apologies."

Ben & Jerry's, as a terrible pun aficionado, I see what you were trying to do. You've been one of my favorite bougie ice cream pints to chow down on for a while, but this is Linsensitive! Linsane! Did you even file for a trademark on Linsanity? Dubious. Doubtful.

And seriously, Fro-Yo? Jeremy's playing so many minutes these days that he doesn't need a low-cal substitute for the real thing. If anything, he can afford to pack on a few extra pounds. Next time, at least put your linjudicious ingredient choice in some ice cream.

Ben & Jerry's: You're Lin Trouble.

Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracketology: Sweet Sixteen

Ed. Note: We thought about calling it "The Sweet and Sour Sixteen", but even The Diss has a tighter lid on our editorial process than ESPN.

Thought #Linsanity would die down this weekend? Wrong. Think again. One aforementioned reprehensible ESPN headline, an SNL cold open, and 28 points and a career high 14 assists (on national TV) later, I can only speak for myself and The Diss when I say: He's lindescribable! Linvincible! He Lin Lin Lins, no matter what! Even this woman wasn't afraid to tell the world about her (cruel) lintentions.

The MPAA just upgraded this blog's rating from PG-13 to R

However, the real big news of the weekend that was were the results in voting for Round 1 of our Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracket. There were several notable upsets that shocked the selection committee, most of all the overwhelming defeat of 1-seed ShaoLin Monk & The Nu York Knickerbeez by 8-seed Lin & Out Burger, aptly predicted by our very own self-described "bracketology hater," Mr. Jacob Greenberg. When  reached for comment, Greenberg stated, "For the record, everyone knows Animal Style beats Shaolin Style. It's not even a question." Upon further research, the we've Diss-covered that Lin himself is a fan of In & Out burger, and even called it his "favorite postgame meal" during his tenure with the Golden State Warriors. We should have known.

8-seed Lin & Out Burger: our Linderalla?

Of course, The Diss would like to thank each and every one of over 600 voters who made this Sweet Sixteen possible. Without any further ado, we are proud to present the updated Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracket and the round of sixteen:

Click for full size bracket

Vote below! Check back for Elite 8 pairings later this week, and look for further Sweet Sixteen breakdown and lin-alysis tomorrow.

Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracketology

Linsanity. The Yellow Mamba. Half Man Half Am-Asian. Have you heard this terminology during a recent Knicks broadcast, or perhaps when perusing Slate.com?

Jeremy Lin has burst to the forefront of the NBA consciousness with some of the best basketball nicknames the Association has seen since Chocolate Thunder, Pistol Pete, and Vinnie "The Microwave" Johnson. While these transcendent monikers had no competition in defining their namesakes, NBA nick-naming forces have not yet coalesced around a single choice for Jeremy Lin. The Diss, however, can offer a solution.

Lin: Jacked up about this nickname bracket

With apologies to Joe Lunardi and all other licensed bracketologists, The Diss is pleased to serve up our lin-augural bracket: "Jeremy Lin's First Ever Bracket Appearance." Well, his first bracket appearance since the 2006 California High School State Championship Tournament anyways. With expertly seeded Regions spanning a broad variety of Lin puns, non-puns, and Asian stereotypes, this bracket comprises the definitive top-32 Jeremy Lin nicknames we've heard around the Internet and come up with on our own here at The Diss.

Click for a bigger bracket!

The selection committee certainly had their hands full with this one, and a few bubble names that didn't quite make the cut still deserve some honorable mention. The Lindy Hop (low RPI), Lindt Chocolate (late season swoon), and Melo Yellow (The Diss staff prefers Mountain Dew) were all part of "the last four," stuck on the outside looking in. Most pundits thought Mr. MSG (couldn't win on the road) was the final name in contention to have its hopes of #linning crushed, and we wish all the Lin nicknames that didn't make the cut well in the NIT (Nickname [L]Invitational Tournament)

Will Linja Turtle KO The Great John Wall of China in the Finals? 

Without further ado, let's get to the voting! Further bracket analysis from The Diss is available here, as we break it down and make some #linning picks. Round 1 voting has now officially closed, click here for Round 2 voting and Round 1 results!

Mike D'Antoni on Riding Jeremy Lin

“I’m riding him like freakin’ Secretariat,” D’Antoni said.