Bracketology: Somewhere between Art and Science lies perfection
With that said, what would a bracket be without some good old fashioned Bracketology? For some breakdown and lin-alysis of some key match-ups, let's bring in noted bracketologists Andrew Snyder, Jacob Greenberg, Jordan Durlester, and Franklin Mieuli for a round table.
Diss-cussants, any initial thoughts on how the Lin Nickname Bracket shaped up?
Jordan Durlester: Being the March Madness junkie that I am, I pride myself on my bracket picking abilities. My final four picks in this very linteresting tournament should be viewed as stone cold locks. I'll meet you all in the Caesar's Palace Sports Book in 15 minutes with a round of Lin and Tonics waiting.
Franklin Mieuli: Jordan, could you get me a whiskey & lin-ger ale instead?
Andrew Snyder: I haven't come close to winning a bracket pool since I picked Syracuse over Kansas in 2003 and rode Carmelo and Gerry McNamara to victory. Since Carmelo is tangentially involved in this bracket as well, I can't see how my picks can go wrong
Jacob Greenberg: Not being an NCAA basketball fan (and anyone who's a fan of 35 second shot clocks, low scoring, poor shot selection, a dramatic dearth of talented players, restrictive officiating and the worst color and play-by-play in all of sports, amateur or professional, isn't actually a basketball fan in the first place), I am terrible at bracketology. However, I feel confident about this tournament. I will defeat my fellow discussants, just like Scar was defeated by Linba. I mean, Simba.
Linstant Offense: Part of a daily balanced breakfast
Got any Final Four picks?
Andrew: Having made this bracket, it's obviously perfect. I'd recommend everyone just stick to chalk. There's no need to pick any upsets, clearly all four 1-seeds will advance to the Final Four. For those taking alternative gambling advice from Antoine Walker, don't say I didn't tell you so.
Jordan: You heard me, these picks are stone cold locks. Linja Turtle: The only glaring weakness in the Linja Turtle game is their tendency to throw impromptu pizza parties. Yellow Mamba: A solid combination of skill and a slight joke surrounding his heritage. Vanessa Bryant already has her #KobeSystem approved yellow face paint. ShaoLin Monk & The Nu York Knickerbeez: The RZA, The GZA, the Toronto Raptor KILLA. Jeremy: I mean, the kid loves his family. He wants to make his mom and dad proud. He's just a nice kid from Palo Alto.
Jacob: Lindiana Jones, Tim Tebow for Liberals, Super Lintendo, and Smokin' Lindo Sippin' on Lin and Juice. These four teams might not be the highest seeds, but they've got the grit and determination to climb above the rest. Also, they've got boosters who are paying their players.
Franklin: Baaaaa'Lin: Can you imagine announcers screaming this? Tim Tebow For Liberals: This might be the funniest Tebow thing since Skip Bayless got autotuned. Taiwanese Tebow: Once again, a combination of the two biggest sports phenomenons of the year. Lindustrial Revolution: Mmmm, automation.
Someone's [bracket is] gonna get busted!
What about Lin-derella's? Got any Dark Horse picks for our voters?
Franklin: Snoop Dogg had a career defining hit with "Lin & Juice," and it's criminally under ranked as a 6-seed. I can smell the East Coast bias of the selection committee from over here.
Jacob: The nation will fall in love with 8-seed Lin & Out, and their secret menu. Their first round upset of ShaoLin Monk will be the most exciting game of the tourney. Everything will be done animal style.
Jordan: The Great John Wall of China, the 7-seed out of the Far East Region, has linderella written (or rather spray-painted) all over it -- imagine everyone in The Peoples' Republic of China getting down like this.
Andrew: I'm a big fan of 8-seed Fortune Rookie, all engrish aside. Could we see a "Double Linderella" (think the 2011 Sweet 16 VCU vs. Florida State) type matchup between Great John Wall and Fortune Rookie? I can't wait to see how this one plays out.
Will Jeremy's nickname of choice advance to Round 2?
Some of these pairings are bound to be nail-biters. What's your key 1st round matchup?
Andrew: Super Lintendo may be obsolete, but with a personal lindorsement from the man himself, I think it has the edge on the alluringly alliterative Taiwanese Tebow.
Jordan: Make sure and tune in for Lin Vitro Fertilization vs. The Lindustrial Revolution first round match up. This epic duo promises to display plenty of machine bashing, test tubes, and potentially harmful chemicals.
Jacob: It's gotta be Lin Dynasty versus Fortune Rookie. Mostly because J-Lin isn't actually a rookie.
Franklin: Linderella Story vs. Linja Turtle is one to keep an eye on, because in the irony of all ironies, I see Linderalla Story going down in an upset.
Now that you've got the 4-1-1, make sure to head back to the bracket and vote if you haven't already! Look for Round 1 results and Sweet Sixteen voting on Monday.