Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wild Speculation and Outlandish Guesses: Phi Slamma Jamma Edition

How sick was Blake Griffin's dunk over Kendrick Perkins? Supersick? Sicknasty? Sickalicious?

Lucas Sokol-Oxman: Don't get me wrong, Blake's dunk last night was filthy, but how is everyone forgetting the night before LeBron jumped over an opponent on an alley-oop dunk? granted, it was probably the shortest player on the court, but still!

Jacob Greenberg: Okay. I'm not a big Blake Griffin guy. I didn't like the hype that surrounded him when he got in the league. I dont really like his one dimensional post game. I don't like the way he argues every call.

But that dunk? Best NBA dunk of the 21st century.

Franklin Mieuli: Pretty sick, though not as sick as his "hold me back!" face afterwards.

Long Bui: Even better in person.

Andrew Snyder: "Better than Mozgov!" It's a good thing Gus Johnson doesn't sporadically work regular season NBA games, or else YouTube might have imploded. Even the NBA made an interesting COPYRIGHTING choice on their official youtube link.

Joe Bernardo: I might be in the minority here, but I don't think Blake's dunk was super mind-boggling. IMHO, I think dunks are more spectacular when the dunker doesn't have to use his off hand on the defender to elevate himself. To me, it's an unfair advantage. I like it when it's more like a high jump competition between the dunker and defender. Plus, I think it's more of a forceful statement when the dunker actually grabs and pulls down the rim. So I guess Blake's dunk was just super sick...not sickalicious.

What is the best IN GAME dunk of all time?

Lucas Sokol-Oxman: Definitely Taj Gibson's facial on D. Wade in last year's Eastern Conference Finals. The commentary is perfect too, with Marv's trademark "yes, and the foul!" and then Steve Kerr telling Reggie Miller to get off him.

Jacob Greenberg: Besides this one? Gotta be Baron over Kirilenko, game 3 of the 2007 Western Conference Semis. The iconic image of the We Believe run.

Frank Mieuli: If Olympics dunks don't count, Dwayne Wade over Anderson Varejao. He actually injured Varejao with a dunk.

Long Bui: Jacob, I too used to find Blake not that compelling, his whole spiel seemed a little contrived, like they were trying to force feed us the BG experience. But that all changed when I saw him up close last Thursday vs. the Grizz. The crowd clung to Blake like Sandusky on... No, moving on, the biggest collective WTF moment wasn't a Blake dunk but rather a Blake rebound. I saw a man fly that night. Dude is a genetic marvel, and I must respect. Also, he stealthily went near triple double.

So what is the best dunk? VC in Sydney of course, and don't try and tell me otherwise. Let's break it down:

i. Oh shit, there's the ball, Imma steal this shit.
ii. Oh shit, there's a full grown man, Frédéric Weis, do I:

a. Dribble around him for the flush?
b. Pass to a trailing KG for a viscous throw down?
c. Defy the laws of sanity?

We all know what happens. Vinsanity is not the honey dip, the between the legs 360, or even any part of the 2000 dunk competition. It is not besting 7-foot-6 Yao Ming for a jump ball. It is... wait where was I? I got sidetracked, oh yea, Vinsanity is seeing a 7-foot-2 grown man, the best that can be offered by an entire nation (France, but still, a nation) and knowing that you can jump over him for the best dunk of all time.

Andrew Snyder: Despite Blake "Mozgov-ing" Kendrick Perkins and Lebron "Beau Kittredge-ing" John Lucas III in these past few days, I'm going to have to go with something a little more old school. Side note: both of these dunks were so disgusting that even random network news station in South Carolina are giving them heavy play. There must be a serious news hole down there after the 2012 GOP Primaries swept through town.

The way Pippen just thoroughly eviscerates Ewing (who had a career avg of 2.4 blocks per game) from start to finish of the dunk makes me wonder why it took American pop culture until 2011 to invent the term "swag," when Pippen was dripping swag during that 1994 Eastern Conference Finals win over the Knicks. The way Pippen stands over Ewing like a boxer who's just KO'ed his opponent, and then proceeds to jaw at not only Ewing but Spike Lee on his way back up the court let's you know who's the man now, dog. Scottie is.

Joe Bernardo: I have to agree with Andrew and go with Pippen over Ewing in the 1994 ECSF. Why I like it: Ewing's leg swings between Pippen's legs, the Chicago crowd erupts, Pippen's mad dogging over Ewing, the shoving match that ensues, and Pippen telling Spike Lee to sit his ass down.

What is the best DUNK COMPETITION dunk of all time?

Lucas Sokol-Oxman: Vince Carter's 360 wind-mill.

Jacob Greenberg: JaVale McGee dunking 3 basketballs. David Stern and the NBA-Kia partnership robbed that young man.

Frank Meiuli: JR Rider's East Bay Funk Dunk. What other dunks have their own name?

Long Bui: Vince. 2000 dunk competition.

Andrew Snyder: Best dunk contest dunk? Probably all of Vince Carter as has been previously mentioned, but I don't even care at this point because of the annual shamockery and travesty the League has made it into. Let's bring back the contest part by having instant fan voting via text message or social media as the decisive decision making mechanism. At this point, ceremonial judges waving Sprite-emblazoned numbers aren't convincing NBA fans (and IRONICALLY Nate Robinson) that the Dunk Contest isn't any more rigged than a Vegas Casino.

Joe Bernardo: Cedric Ceballos's blind fold dunk. Anyone with me? Anyone? Anyone? For real though, I gotta go with Vince Carter resurrecting the Dunk Contest even for just a little bit. I thought Javale McGee's two basketball dunk was the most creative and difficult the last 5 years, but his many attempts at it hindered its quality.

Who is the best dunker of all time?

Lucas Sokol-Oxman: Michael Jordan. Even the Jumpman logo implies this!

Jacob Greenberg: For his combination of athleticism, creativity, and lack of height, it's gotta be my man Spud Webb. Nate aint got nuthin on the original short man.

Franklin Mieuli: Shawn Kemp. Maybe not the best pure dunker of all time, but damn was he the master of the angry, vicious dunk.

Long Bui: Interesting note on the Jumpman logo, he wasn't even dunking! It's him performing "a ballet move where [he] jumped up and spread [his] legs... holding the ball in [his] left hand." Neat, huh?

Andrew Snyder: Three words to justify my opinion.

Style over substance.

Dr. J

Joe Bernardo: I'm going old school with the Human Highlight Film. I also think he got robbed by Jordan and his hometown fans in '88!


  1. Where's Kobe's dunk on a young Dwight Howard? Kobe on Ben Wallace?

  2. I hadn't seen either of those before. Also, we (except Joe) are Kobe haters. That dunk over Ben Wallace is sick.

    Kobe dunks on a young Dwight Howard.

    Kobe dunks on Ben Wallace.

  3. i hate but i must respect.