Friday, June 24, 2011

The Phoenix Suns and the Other Brother

It's been quite a few years since I last sat in the halls of the local synagogue reading Torah and playing pick-up gaga (a reference to the classic Jewish camp game, not the manish diva). Oh the fond memories. While it's true most of these memories surround Bar Mitzvah themes and hummus, I do seem to recall some of the ancient biblical stories passed down from generation to generation. After watching the NBA Draft last night a certain story in particular came to mind. It goes a little something like this:

Laban: Jacob, would you like to marry my smoking hot daughter, Rachel? Not only is her body bangin' but she will surely deliver you lots of sons.

Jacob: Yes.

Jacob stands under the chuppah next to who he assumes is Rachel and they exchange vows and smash a Kiddish Cup.

Jacob: Oh no! You aren't Rachel! You're her less attractive sister, Leah! I got the wrong sister.

Or something like that. Anyway, the point is, the Phoenix Suns front office must have been absent that day because since 2008 they have picked the wrong brother 3 times.

In 2008 with their first round pick the New Jersey Nets selected Brook Lopez. Brook was a can't miss type of prospect; A true 7 footer with the ability to score in the post with numerous moves and disrupt/block shots on the other end of the court.

Brook's twin brother shared his height and a fraction of his defensive prowess, but besides that was a goofy kid with side-show-bob hair. Just 5 picks after New Jersey grabbed Brook, Phoenix opted to take Robin. RoLo has had a below par NBA career thus far averaging just 5.9 PPG and 3.3 RPG. Strike 1.

It is a poorly kept secret that The University of Oklahoma recruited Taylor Griffin to get a foot in the door with younger brother, Blake. Taylor was all-in-all a pretty solid NCAA guy. He worked hard in practice, made all the hustle plays, and was a vocal leader as an upperclassman. However, he possessed no skill greater than being the most effective recruiting tool a collegiate coach could ask for.

Evidently the Suns once again overlooked the obvious and selected Taylor in the second round of the 2009 Draft. Sure, second round picks don't usually turn out to be superstars by any means, but I'm sure they were hoping for more production than 1.3PPG and .3RPG. Strike 2.

Last night the Suns selected Markieff Morris with their first round pick. The Morris twins both had pretty solid careers banging down low in the blocks at Allen Fieldhouse (and picking fights with the Jayhawks Football team). All the talking heads pretty much agreed that Marcus Morris was the better NBA prospect averaging 17.2PPG and 7.6 RPG while his SLIGHTLY taller brother averaged 13.6PPG and 8.3RPG.

I should note that Markieff shot the 3-ball at an impressive 42% in his last year of school, but if the Suns drafted him to be ANOTHER big with a preference to shoot (Channing Frye) than they have more problems than I have time to go into. I think they botched this one up, too. Strike 3.


  1. But wait, my religious school friend. Reconsider the Lopez twins.

    Jacob only got Rachel after working 14 (!) years for that muthafugga Laban. He managed to crank out 12 kids with Leah (and Zilpah and Bilha) while waiting for Rachel. Rachel cranked out Joseph, Benjamin, then she croaked herself. She's the Greg Oden of the Old Testament.

    Robin's still young. Brook is too, for that matter. But while Robin's sort of in holding pattern as young, but learning big man. Brook's regressed though.

    Maybe Robin will become Nick Collison -- a company man who just does his time, and produce good years over time, just like Leah produced 12 solid fucking tribes. Meanwhile, Brook will be Rachel: deliver 2 nice years, then just keel over and die.

  2. The Greg Oden of the Old Testament -- BRILLIANT.

    You bring up some very valid points and I suppose only time will tell. I still think Robin is too soft and doesn't play with the tenacity necessary to be a Nick Collison type of player.