Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracket: Elite Eight

The Elite Eight! The Regional Finals! This one's for all the bragging rights... in each region! Jeremy Lin probably probably knows something about eight team competitions (see: Ivy League), but I doubt he's been involved in anything at this sort of "elite" level before (zing!). Unfortunately, no Elite Eight buzz words work very well with Lin puns, so I might as well just stop writing now. Or, I could just wait a paragraph.

It looks like the only way Linsanity can be stopped is with a Hadouken

Hmm... very linteresting... According to the world's foremost bracketology expert, in an average year, three out of four 1-seeds make it to the Elite Eight; The Diss'es Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracket has held true to form. Despite the disappointing loss of 8-seed and noted Wu Tang Killa Lin and Out Burger, several linderellas are still in the hunt, including fan favorites 7-seed Jeremy and 6-seed Linja Turtle. The dominant lame-stream media storyline will surely follow these two upstart lower seeds on the left side of the bracket, but don't sleep on Super Lintendo or Lindustrial Revolution over on the right side -  both have a realistic title shot.  

Click for a larger bracket!

Vote now for your Final Four nicknames, and check back on Monday to see if your preferred sobriquet has made it to, uh... New Orleans! And no David Stern, you can't cancel this one.

Bracket Lin-Alysis: The Sweet Sixteen

Three of the most exciting words in the english language: The Sweet Sixteen! Filled with bracket busters, Lin-derellas, diaper dandies, PTP'ers, and other made up words and catchphrases by Dick Vitale, it's consistently a better and more highly rated product than it's MTV counterpart. Go vote now if you haven't already taken part in democracy!

The (Super) Sweet Sixteen! 

While we don't have Billy Packer or Gus Johnson here at the Diss, we do have Jacob Greenberg, Jordan Durlester, Andrew Snyder, and Franklin Mieuli rising (and firing) to the occasion to provide some insightful Jeremy Lin nickname bracket analysis for the round of 16. Will Greenberg continue to outpace his colleagues here at the Diss with his spot-on predictions? Let's find out:

Break it down for the people: What was the most compelling result of the First Round of action?

Franklin Mieuli: Lindustrial Revolution impressed greatly winning 81% of the vote. I thought Lin Vitro Fertilization was much better than a 7-seed, but Lindustrial Revolution dispatched them with the ease of full automation. 

Jacob Greenberg: For me, the subtle brilliance of Jeremy really shone. Its game is understated, yet strong. Jeremy looks good going up against Baaaallll'Lin, whose ostentatiousness wearies me by the day.

Jordan Durlester: I seriously cannot believe Lin and Out Burger took down perennial powerhouse ShaoLin Monk & The Nu York Knickerbeez. I severely overestimated the number of Diss readers who appreciate the greatness of the Wu. 

Andrew Snyder: I'm going to have to offer a re-tread opinion and agree with Lin and Out Burger's upset win. Nu York Knickerbeez delivered a U-God type performance that was simply unacceptable, and they should be just as ashamed of themselves as the Clan is of Mr. Xcitement.

U-God & The Clan: No match for Lin and Out Burger

Which Round 1 Linderella is a contender? Which one is just a pretender?

Jacob: Lin Dynasty has some staying power, so I'm going to say they're for real. However, don't be fooled by Linsanity, either. It's already starting to show some... weaknesses... in its armor. 

Andrew: To LinFinity, and Beyond! is such a feel good story, but I can't see them trumping fellow linderalla Lin & Out Burger. Nobody messes with Jeremy's favorite post-game meal! 

Franklin: Linja Turtle handled its matchup with ease, and in the Sweet 16 it matches up well against the pedestrian sounding Lincredible; I smell an upset. On the other hand, Smokin' Lindo, Sippin' on Lin & Juice has had a nice run, but I can't see it making past Lindustrial Revolution. Now we're cookin' with steam!

Jordan: Agreed, Linja Turtle is out for blood (and Shredder). April is also dangerously close to replacing Erin Andrews as basketball's best looking sideline correspondent. Seeing as I already labeled myself as a Lin and Out Burger hater, I'm going to keep harping on the fact that they're going to get crushed in this round, animal style or not. Five Guys is way better anyways.

Watch your back Erin Andrews

Can anyone stop a finals matchup between Linsanity and Super Lintendo, the mass media darlings and biggest Round 1 winners?

Jacob: Well, yes, scouting can eventually stop Linsanity. But Super Lintendo? How do you stop 16 bits of excellence?

Andrew: It'd be a brutal slap to the face to Bracketologists and nickname purists everywhere if Linsanity won this bracket. Allegations of academic misconduct and trading memorabilia for tattoos have overshadowed their tourney run thusfar, and I'm hoping fan favorite Linja Turtle can make it thru to the Elite Eight and stop the Linsanity.

Franklin: Linsanity has the easiest run into the Final Four bar none-- I don't see anybody, even Linja Turtle, getting in its way. On the other hand, Super Lintendo has to fight through Crouching Tiger Hidden PG and the winner of Lin Dynasty/Yellow Mamba. Those are tough matchups that could leave Super Lintendo battered and bruised if it even manages to emerge from the Asian Stereotypes Region. 

Jordan: I disagree Franklin, the only way Super Lintendo doesn't make the Final Four is if a cease and desist letter comes in from Satoru Iwata. Look him up.

If you're already on a T-Shirt, you're going to be hard to beat

What Marquee matchup are you looking forward to in the Sweet 16? Which one's going to come right down to the wire?

Jordan: Lin Dynasty vs. Yellow Mamba is going to be one for the ages. I can see this one coming down to a last minute vote (by me probably), but Yellow Mamba has the power of Kobe - it's going to pull it off. Go ahead and make dinner plans during the Jeremy vs. Crimson Guard matchup -- I think everyone on Jeremy's bench is going to get some second-half playing time during this blowout. 

Andrew: Despite a certification in Bracketology from Lunardi University, I have no idea who's going to prevail in the dogfight between Half Man Half Am-Asian and Tim Tebow for Liberals. Maybe we should bring in Mike Vick for some dogfight analysis?

Franklin: I like Super Lintendo vs. Crouching Tiger Hidden PG. If Selection Sunday had gone differently and Lintendo had been put where it belonged in a pun-based region, I could have seen both of these names making the Final Four. Alas, cruel fate has destined that one won't even make it to the Elite Eight.

Jacob: Like Franklin, I'm upset to see Lindustrial Revolution and Smokin' Lindo, Sippin' on Lin & Juice meeting this early on in the tournament. They are both smart, relevant nicknames with bright futures. Maybe one of these names will find success at the National Linvatational Tournament later on this year. 

That's it! Thanks for reading the Lin-alysis, and check back tomorrow for the Elite Eight!

Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracketology: Sweet Sixteen

Ed. Note: We thought about calling it "The Sweet and Sour Sixteen", but even The Diss has a tighter lid on our editorial process than ESPN.

Thought #Linsanity would die down this weekend? Wrong. Think again. One aforementioned reprehensible ESPN headline, an SNL cold open, and 28 points and a career high 14 assists (on national TV) later, I can only speak for myself and The Diss when I say: He's lindescribable! Linvincible! He Lin Lin Lins, no matter what! Even this woman wasn't afraid to tell the world about her (cruel) lintentions.

The MPAA just upgraded this blog's rating from PG-13 to R

However, the real big news of the weekend that was were the results in voting for Round 1 of our Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracket. There were several notable upsets that shocked the selection committee, most of all the overwhelming defeat of 1-seed ShaoLin Monk & The Nu York Knickerbeez by 8-seed Lin & Out Burger, aptly predicted by our very own self-described "bracketology hater," Mr. Jacob Greenberg. When  reached for comment, Greenberg stated, "For the record, everyone knows Animal Style beats Shaolin Style. It's not even a question." Upon further research, the we've Diss-covered that Lin himself is a fan of In & Out burger, and even called it his "favorite postgame meal" during his tenure with the Golden State Warriors. We should have known.

8-seed Lin & Out Burger: our Linderalla?

Of course, The Diss would like to thank each and every one of over 600 voters who made this Sweet Sixteen possible. Without any further ado, we are proud to present the updated Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracket and the round of sixteen:

Click for full size bracket

Vote below! Check back for Elite 8 pairings later this week, and look for further Sweet Sixteen breakdown and lin-alysis tomorrow.

Jeremy Lin Nickname Bracketology

Linsanity. The Yellow Mamba. Half Man Half Am-Asian. Have you heard this terminology during a recent Knicks broadcast, or perhaps when perusing Slate.com?

Jeremy Lin has burst to the forefront of the NBA consciousness with some of the best basketball nicknames the Association has seen since Chocolate Thunder, Pistol Pete, and Vinnie "The Microwave" Johnson. While these transcendent monikers had no competition in defining their namesakes, NBA nick-naming forces have not yet coalesced around a single choice for Jeremy Lin. The Diss, however, can offer a solution.

Lin: Jacked up about this nickname bracket

With apologies to Joe Lunardi and all other licensed bracketologists, The Diss is pleased to serve up our lin-augural bracket: "Jeremy Lin's First Ever Bracket Appearance." Well, his first bracket appearance since the 2006 California High School State Championship Tournament anyways. With expertly seeded Regions spanning a broad variety of Lin puns, non-puns, and Asian stereotypes, this bracket comprises the definitive top-32 Jeremy Lin nicknames we've heard around the Internet and come up with on our own here at The Diss.

Click for a bigger bracket!

The selection committee certainly had their hands full with this one, and a few bubble names that didn't quite make the cut still deserve some honorable mention. The Lindy Hop (low RPI), Lindt Chocolate (late season swoon), and Melo Yellow (The Diss staff prefers Mountain Dew) were all part of "the last four," stuck on the outside looking in. Most pundits thought Mr. MSG (couldn't win on the road) was the final name in contention to have its hopes of #linning crushed, and we wish all the Lin nicknames that didn't make the cut well in the NIT (Nickname [L]Invitational Tournament)

Will Linja Turtle KO The Great John Wall of China in the Finals? 

Without further ado, let's get to the voting! Further bracket analysis from The Diss is available here, as we break it down and make some #linning picks. Round 1 voting has now officially closed, click here for Round 2 voting and Round 1 results!