Diss Guy: Jamaal Wilkes
In a week of long speeches, Jamaal Wilkes was the only one who truly realized that brevity is the soul of wit. Former president Bill Clinton delivered a 50 minute speech at the Democratic National Convention, and Barack Obama clocked in at just around 40 minutes. Jamaal Wilkes, however, delivered a classy five minute speech to accept his entrance into the Basketball Hall of Fame. Wilkes won two NCAA championships with Bill Walton and John Wooden at UCLA, then won four championships with the Warriors (1) and Lakers (3) as a professional. And based on this video, Wilkes would be successful in today's game. He's sort of plays like a really, really good Barack Obama. Certainly more efficient -- both on the court, and on the podium.
Miss Guy: James Dolan (and Isiah Thomas, of course)
Picking James "Low Fruit" Dolan as our "Miss Guy" isn't exactly rocket science, but to be fair, he makes it pretty easy on himself. Dolan, who has overseen the Knicks sustained irrelevance, has done just about everything he can to ensure that his team's major boons -- a marketable brand, the most major of markets, a destination city, and at one time, a brilliant front office -- are all wasted on junk. Dolan pulled the trigger on Carmelo Anthony, prematurely blowing up Donnie Walsh's plan to create a contender around Mike D'Antoni, Amar'e Stoudemire and a yet-to-be acquired point guard (which, it was later revealed, could have been Deron Williams). He then let his most marketable asset, Jeremy Lin, take his still-expanding global brand to Houston. He's committed the vast majority of his payroll to three players who look great on paper, but haven't come together to provide anything meaningful. And now, he's having business meetings with the guy who drove the Knicks into the ground, presumably to re-hire him to fill a different capacity within Madison Square Garden. You just make it too easy, JD.
(And Isiah Thomas sets a new Diss record for going from Diss Guy one week to Miss Guy the next. Them's the breaks, Isiah.)